that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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