my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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