I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
