Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
