He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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