quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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