You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
