I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
