What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
