just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
