guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
