what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize