Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They have beer where we have blood.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
