Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize