I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
These tits shall not be calmed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
