my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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