I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
