Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
