I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
