Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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