seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
