shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
