whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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