I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was confusing and full of hummus
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
