My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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