im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
handjob tips. give me some.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
