who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
