I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize