he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
