Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
