Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
