How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
