i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
