I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
