...so i touched it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
