you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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