i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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