My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
