I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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