hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
