You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
