I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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