She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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