I just threw up on my dentist
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
