Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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