you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
