You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
