Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize