Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
