eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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