I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
