he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
