I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize