vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
