I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize