white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
