So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
