remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
