Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
