His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
