we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
